Friday, February 26, 2010

where kate loses her mind.

Have you ever had one of those days where a smile feels foreign on your face? No matter how hard you try, it always seems fake. You can feel gravity pushing down on the corners of your mouth until it's too heavy and you have to stop. I hate that feeling, because then I know I'm trying to be someone I"m not. Trying to please people with a smile so they think, "Good, see? She's happy. Now all I have to worry about is myself." Most people only bother to care about others out of what they see as obligation, not because they really do. I really just want to tell them to stop, it's obvious that they really don't care at all.

It's not that I'm depressed, or anything like that. I just feel kind of empty. Like whatever I do I can't get my heart into it. I'm just going through the motions, making everyone else happy. I can't even grasp the right words and string them together in a sentence to relate what I'm feeling
This is where Kate starts to lose it.
It's kind of like I'm a zombie, moving through life with no real part of me. That's it! It's the beginning of the zombie apocalypse! First we start out just a little spacey, then feelings and emotions leave our bodies, but we mindlessly go through out day, until we don't even do that anymore. We slowly start to lose all sanity when eventually we're wild beasts! Feeding off human flesh, no shadow of our former selves recognizable! We're just empty shells. I would say I'm in between phase one and two.

There we go. Now when people ask what's wrong I can tell them it's the beginning of the zombie apocalypse. I may be the only person displaying these symptoms, but it's just a matter of time before everyone else does, too. You'll see.

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