Day 24

A picture of something you wish you could change.

I know I've talked about this before so I'll keep it short and sweet. But I wish I could change what happened at homecoming with my friend/date and how I handled the whole thing afterward. I handled the situation all wrong. I hurt his feelings and messed with my own head. I knew how I wanted our relationship to be (friends only) and now I have to admit, like a big girl, that I might have led him on a bit. Not on purpose. I would never do such a thing intentionally. But, nonetheless, it happened. And then I just ignored the whole thing like a big poop. I wish I could change it. But I can't. I've finally dealt with it. And I've also apologized. After the whole thing, I can't say we're friends anymore. Which sucks. However, I knew it would end up like this somehow, someway. Because I don't believe that two people can be friends when one of them has feelings for the other. The only thing I can do is move on and not put myself or anyone else through this whole mess again.

[This picture is from the homecoming game. I didn't want to post a picture of him.]

Day 23

A picture of your favorite book.

Instead of making myself pick a favorite Harry Potter book, I'm just going to say that they are collectively my favorite book/series. I began reading them in the second grade after the first movie came out. After that I was pretty much addicted for life. My dad loves them just as much as I do. For me, they're really the books that got me hooked on reading. I know as a seven year old you don't do a whole lot of reading, but there was a definite increase in my reading time after reading the first book. I don't know what it is. The characters, the plot, the quality of the writing. But there's just so much more that I don't even know if I can put it into words. Every time I reread one of the books I discover something I hadn't noticed before. Maybe a scene that explains something that happened in another book. Or a clever/witty remark or statement. It's more than just good versus evil. It's about doing what you know is right even if it's not the easy thing to do. Being loyal to those you love. Knowing that you're not alone, and that it's okay to trust others and accept help.

I know it's corny to say but Harry Potter really was my childhood. I've lost count of how many times I've read each book. It became tradition for me to reread the whole series every summer. Obviously, you can tell that these books have been read a lot [as I said my dad reads them, too]. We have doubles of all the books except for the first and the sixth. The last book has inscriptions written in the inside cover from when my dad and I went to the midnight release together. I really could go on and on about how much Harry Potter has impacted my life. But in the end, Harry Potter will always be a part of who I am.

Day 22

A picture of something you wish you were better at.

I really, really wish I was a good skier. Now, I don't want you to get the impression that I ski on a regular basis or every winter. I've only skied twice in my life. But I remember how much fun it was. The rush as you hurtle done the side of a mountain, or in my case a very, very large hill. How pretty the snow looks on the ground and the trees. It's so satisfying once you're able to reach the bottom without falling once. [Shocking, right?] Plus how cool would it be to tell people that you ski. Like, regularly. I also understand that it can get pretty pricey. But I can dream, right? I'm just such a winter person it feels wrong to not be able to say that I ski, snowboard, or ice skate. [I can ice skate, but not very well.]

Is there anything that you guys wish you were better at? And do any of you ski? If so, I am extremely jealous of you.

Day 21

A picture of something you wish you could forget.

I wish I could forget this dress. I'm not going to lie, I know I look good in it. I mean, that's why I bought it for homecoming. But to be honest it never even really fit right. The whole damn dance I was constantly hitching that thing up so that I wasn't giving any free peep shows. Plus the poofy skirt was not staying poofy. I had to keep having my friend Morgan fluff it up. Which I eventually gave up on. And to top it all off I paid a somewhat ridiculous amount of money for it. Especially considering the fact that I probably won't ever wear it again. I tried to reason with myself saying that the most I've ever spent on a dress is $80 and it was my last high school homecoming. But I regret it. The one thing I do like about the dress? The extra tulle in the skirt provided an adequate barrier between me and a certain someone who I've mentioned previously. I don't want to talk about it. Yet. There will definitely come a time, probably soon, that I want to talk about it. Because it's ridiculous/hilarious/embarrassing. And for some reason I have this insane need to share all ridiculous/hilarious/embarrassing stories I have about myself. Masochist? Yes. Ashamed? A little. Regretful? Never.

Happy 11/11/11! Make your wish count! [If you believe in that stuff.]

Day 20

A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.

There are numerous places I'd love to travel: Spain, France, Germany. The list goes on. But the one place I can remember wanting to travel to the longest is definitely Ireland. My dad's family is from Ireland and really into the whole Irish heritage thing. I mean, my dad organizes the annual St. Patrick's Day Parade in my hometown for crying out loud. [He didn't get this job for being Irish, though. Mainly because he's a member of the Knights of Columbus and willing to do the job.] Anywho, I remember when I was younger wanting to go to Ireland. I want to kiss the Blarney stone, go drinking in pubs in Dublin, go to Galway Bay [that song was my favorite when I was little], and go to Roscommon and Cork counties [that's where my family's from]. I mainly just think it'd be neat to see the place where the majority of my lineage is from [my mom's family is Scottish so Scotland is a close second]. I think it'd also be really cool to do all this with my dad. He's been there before when he was a bachelor and living in Holland. But I know he'd love to go back and see it all again with his family.

Are there any places you're just dieing to travel?

Day 19

A picture of you when you were little.

This is a picture of my big brother Conor and me! I believe this was taken on my second Christmas. I would have been 22 months and Conor would have been 4 years old. When I was little people used to tell my parents that they should enter me in beauty pageants. I think it was my big blue eyes and dimples.

I just love this picture, though. My parents say that when we were little Conor always used to want to play with me and hug me. After he got over the fact that they weren't going to be returning me to the hospital for good. We used to fight all the time when we were younger, and still do sometimes. We're just two very different types of people. He takes everything to heart and believes everyone has good intentions until they show him otherwise.. And I'm more selfish and can see people for exactly what they are. But he's my big brother and he would do anything for me. And I would do anything for him. Looking at this picture makes me realize how lucky I am to have such an awesome brother.

Day 18

A picture of your biggest insecurity.

I have honestly been putting this one off for a while. I've probably mentioned this before, but I have a thyroid disease that slows down my metabolism. We first learned about it when I was ten. From that time period on my biggest insecurity has been my weight. I know I'm not obese, or even big. But there were definitely times in my life when I felt that I was. I struggled so much when I was younger with my weight. I would see all my friend and think to myself how unfair it was that they were skinny and I wasn't. Why couldn't I be like them? I would get all into exercising and eating right. Then suddenly I would ask myself why. It didn't matter how hard I tried, I'd never be like them. Because of this my weight has fluctuated a lot over the past four years.

Until recently I couldn't deal with the emotional stress of being overweight, and then not, and then being overweight again. And so on. Now I find it easier to accept that, yeah, I may never be skinny. I may never be a size 2 or even a 6 or 8. But that's okay. The most important thing to me now is just being healthy. Eating right because I feel good and whole afterward. Running not because I enjoy running, but because I have more energy. Don't get me wrong, in doing these things I do hope to be more slender. I also haven't completely thrown my weight issues out of the window either. I don't think I ever will. But I am able to make myself understand that I'm not perfect and neither is anyone else. Comparing myself to others isn't healthy, and no good can ultimately come out of it.

*This picture is from my eighth grade trip to Washington, D.C. I consider this the low point of my self-esteem problems.

Day 17

A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

This would be a picture of a Billiken. For those who don't know, which is probably most you, the Billiken is Saint Louis University's mascot. You may be thinking to yourself, what the hell is a Billiken? Don't worry, I thought the same exact thing. He started out as a kind of good luck charm in the early 1900s. If you bought one it would bring you luck, but if someone gave one to you, you had better luck. I think it was more of a Japanese thing, than American. But SLU supposedly chose him as the mascot because it's said he resembles coach John R. Bender [I would be slightly insulted if I were him].

I recently went down to St. Louis with my parents for a campus tour of SLU. And I have to say, as of right now, SLU is probably my top choice for college. It's completely different from all the other colleges I've looked at. Most of them are in towns similar to the one I live in, which isn't that big. Originally, that's what I wanted, to go to a small college in a town like my own. But now I'm not so sure. It would be totally different from what I'm used to if I went to college in St. Louis or Indianapolis. SLU is definitely the biggest, it has 8,000 undergraduates and 5,000 graduates. This seems kind of intimidating to me, but I think I could handle it. While it is a 2 hour drive from my hometown, I do have family that I'm close to living in St. Louis. The campus was big, to be expected, but it was gorgeous and didn't seem as overwhelming as I thought it would be. Most importantly, is the accounting program, I could get my masters in 5 years! The shorter I have to be in college, the better. But we'll see how it all works out. I've still got to get through applying and my senior year.

Day 16

A picture of someone who inspires you.

I was scared of this day because I wasn't sure who I was going to chose. Should I chose Emma Watson, simply because of how talented, determined, smart, etc she is? Or should I chose my grandmother because of how strong and spunky she is? There were so many different ways I could have gone with this. But when I heard about Dame Maggie Smith's story I knew instantly I was going to chose her. For those who don't know, or realize, who Dame Maggie Smith is, she's the actress who portrays Professor McGonagall in the Harry Potter movies. I was perusing my tumblr feed a couple days ago when a post caught my eye. In it I saw something about Dame Maggie Smith and breast cancer [whaaaa?]. Apparently she filmed Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince mid-treatment for breast cancer. “I was hairless. I had no problem getting the wig on. I was like a boiled egg." If that's not inspiring, I don't know what is. I find it hard not to look up to someone who survives on pure dedication and will power. [Here's an article from 2009 where she talks about it.]

Day 15

A picture of something you want to do before you die.

I want to zoom around Europe on a crotch rocket. This would technically cover several things I want to do before I die all at once. One: ride a crotch rocket. Two: go to Europe. Three: be a bad ass. [I understand my definition of a bad ass isn't the same as everyone else's.] There's just something I love about driving fast. I guess it's the adrenalin rush, the danger of it, or simply just the breeze ruffling [or massacring] your hair. It's so liberating. Now take all that and put it on a cherry red crotch rocket. Hellllll yeah! And then take all that and plop it done in Europe. Did I just blow your mind? If not, that's okay, because I just blew my own mind. I just really wanna be a bad ass on a crotch rocket wearing leather. And why Europe? Why not! We only live once people. Sometimes you just have to do things just to say you did it.

Day 14

A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

I couldn't imagine not having my family in my life. For the obvious reason, I literally wouldn't be here if it weren't for my parents. Well, duh Kate. But, seriously, I couldn't imagine not having them in my life, not being close to them. My whole life we've been a super close family. Every summer for as long as I can remember we go on a family vacation. Last year we went to Tennessee, this year we're going to Colorado for the 3rd time. I guess it's because of all the things like this that we do together. As much as I fight with my mom she's an incredible woman and a huge support to me. She really is one of the strongest women I know and she's helped me through so much. And I've already dedicated a whole post about my dad.

My brother, Conor, and I haven't really been all that close growing up. I mean, obviously, we're pretty close considering we're only 3 years apart and have lived together our whole lives. But we're not like best friends. We fought an awful lot when we were younger. Sometimes it got so bad that while my parents were at work she'd call my gramma. My grandparents live like 4 streets away, so she'd just show up. That's when we knew we were in for it when our parents got home. But as we've gotten older we've gotten closer. We've realized that it's not worth it to be fighting all the time. Now we have actual conversations and make time to do stuff together. And I know that as my older brother he'll always be there for me when I need him.

It's just hard to imagine not having that support system I've grown up with. We've definitely been through some really tough times. It amazes me how we've managed to get through them together and still remain as close as ever. I'm so extremely grateful and thankful to have them. And I know how incredibly lucky I am. It really does make me sad that some people just don't have that. I hope that some day when I have a family of my own I can provide my children lives the way my parents have for my brother and me.

Day 13

A picture of your favorite band or artist.

This one was kind of hard for me because I don't really have one favorite band/artist. And it's usually changing based on what I'm feeling at the time. But as of right now my top band is definitely Cage the Elephant. They're not really "big" so you may or may not have heard of them. If you have you've probably heard their song "Ain't No Rest for the Wicked" [please watch the video, it's trippy]. My all time favorite song is probably "Back Against the Wall." I'm kicking myself right now, though, because I don't have their newest album yet and I'm one of those nerds who has to buy the actual album, not on iTunes. I love them so much because they're slightly old school sounding, but totally bad ass. They give off this attitude like I don't give a fuck. I can't really explain it much better than that. Whenever I really like music it's more than just the lyrics or the message. There just has to be some other connection I feel and can't explain whenever I'm listening. And they just have it.

Day 12

A picture of something you love.

I love books. The end. I will be the first to admit that I am a huge nerd/bookworm. Ever since I read the Harry Potter series back in the 2nd grade I've been a non-stop reading machine. The picture above is my own personal library. I have more books than are in the picture, but, as you can see, I've run out of room. So I've hijacked my brother's matching bookcase to use. Except that means clearing out an entire section of my room. This would be a problem because I am a huge pack rat and will probably someday be featured on Hoarders. I have a feeling it's going to be a summer long project.

I can't really say what I love about reading so much. To me, it doesn't even really matter what I'm reading, just as long as I'm reading. I guess it's the escape of it all. You just immerse yourself in the story, get lost in it. You can learn about different lifestyles, cultures, the past, anything. Maybe that's it, seeing into a life different from your own.

I, of course, read all the cute little novels specifically aimed towards teenage girls. I mean, what teenage girl doesn't? But after reading Pride and Prejudice in the 8th grade I've been a huge fan of 19th century books. I believe I've said this before, but I own the complete works of Jane Austen. Needless to say, Jane Austen is one of my all-time favorite authors. I'm also a huge fan of the Bronte sisters. And I also own the complete works of Sarah Dessen [who's totally pumped for her next book?!]. And, obviously, Harry Potter is the best of all. Those books will forever hold a special place in my heart. Not only did they introduce me to the wonderful world of literature, I grew up with those books! For almost 10 years now I've lived during the reign of Harry Potter. My dad and I sort of share a special bond over the whole Harry Potter thing. We're huge fans, every time a book was released we went to the midnight releasings. I will bawl like a baby at the last movie, that's for sure.

I felt the need to include of picture of my collection corner. As in my very large collection of DVDs, books, and CDs. *Pack rat*

Day 11

A picture of something you hate.

I absolutely hate it when people eat with their mouths open. It's so disgusting. And it's not really the whole chewed up food thing [My dad and brother would always chew their food up and show it to me when I was younger, so now I'm immune to it.] I think it's just the noise. Is it really that hard to chew with your mouth closed? I don't want to hear you chowing down on some chips or sandwich or whatever. The sound of someone's lips smacking or their teeth grinding down some food makes me want to puke. One of my friends eats like that, I can hear her crunching the food between her teeth. It's all I can do to keep from tearing my hair out. My brother does it too, even though he's constantly reminded not to. Thankfully, I rarely eat with him, so that's okay.

Day 10

A picture of the person you do the most fucked up things with.

Yep, definitely Blake. In past year alone I've done things I never thought I would, and I have to say mostly because of her. I mean, some of them are completely wrong and I know I shouldn't have done them. But I definitely don't regret them. We always have a blast together. Whenever I feel like I need to just forget and go crazy she's always there. Sneaking out, parties, spontaneous day trips out of town. Anything. As much as I can't stand her, she's always been there for me and I know she always will be. Even when we were younger she had me doing crazy things. [As crazy as it gets at 13.] We used to roam my neighborhood TPing and forking people. Prank calling. You know, all the normal pre-teen things.

I'm not going to give all the details, but I'll briefly summarize one of our escapades. Our night started out with sneaking out her 2nd story toy room out a window and down a latter. Then my friend Kayla put her car in neutral and we pushed it through Blake's side yard. All the while holding blankets over the car lights. [I'm pretty sure my foot got ran over.] We somehow ended up at a gay-lesbian frat party. How do I know this? I've never seen so many chicks making out in my life. Needless to say, we got out of there. Only after escorting a friend back to his friend's apartment, and then having him escort us to our car. The night ended with a 4 a.m. milkshake run to Steak 'n Shake. All because Blake said she was bored. Before you go telling me how dumb we were, trust me, we've already discussed this. Albeit dumb, it was pretty fun. And hilarious.
Blake is usually the factor behind all our little shenanigans.

Day 08

A picture that makes you laugh.

Without fail, this picture always manages to make me laugh. Please tell me that you didn't laugh even a little. Blake's face is absolutely ridiculous. My friend Jordin's the one on the left and Blake's the one in the middle. Blake. She is the one friend who I both hate and love at the same time. I think we have that effect on each other, though. She's completely random and says the most absurd things.She also has extreme ADHD, so that probably explains it all. We're total opposites, but we've been friends for so long we can't help it. Sure we've gotten into fights, little and huge, but we've always somehow made it through. We'll probably always be friends.

Don't we all have that one friend who we hate and love simultaneously (thank God for spell check, I butchered that word)? Everything they do just rubs you the wrong way. You walk away from them grinding your teeth. But that person is almost always the same person you can't imagine living without. Maybe it's the whole opposite attract thing. It's a relief to be around someone who isn't like you. You live with yourself 24/7 (duh!) and it's like a breath of fresh air to be with someone who isn't like you. I think we all need someone in our lives like that..

Day 07

I couldn't decide between two items so I decided to include both of them.

A picture of you most treasured item(s).

I know it's kind of cliche for a girl's favorite item to be a a pair of shoes but I can't help myself. I've had these boots since the 7th grade. So I've had them for about 5 years now. (I have a mild addiction to boots. You should see my collection.) The inside of them are worn down. What traction there once was is now completely gone. The toe of one boot is completely torn. And the black is worn down and stained. I know it's kind of ridiculous to have a pair of shoes for so long, especially if they're falling apart. But I got these shoes right before I turned 13 and I feel like they've been through everything with me. I don't really even care that they're not that cute anymore. During the winter I wear them practically everyday. I'll probably keep wearing them until it's physically impossible to keep them on my feet. And even then I doubt if I'll throw them out.

You can't really tell what that is, but it's a bracelet with a piano charm on it. I don't usually wear a whole lot of jewelry but I wear this one a lot. My gramma F gave it to me for my 16th birthday last year. She got me a piano charm because my birthday was right after I won the piano competition. She's given me lots of presents over the years, and to be honest I've gotten rid of about half of them. (What? Don't look at me like that. She had like 30 people to buy for, it's not like she could be choosy.) But this one was really special to me because I know she put a lot of thought and trouble into getting it for me. It's also the last birthday present she ever gave me. I would say last present but she had bought her Christmas presents before she died. All the women in the family got watches and all the men got billfolds (it was easier for her to stick to one main theme). I'll keep this for the rest of my life and probably pass it down to my daughter if (when) she takes up piano.

Day 06

A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.

Hands down, Chelsea Handler. She's probably one of my favorite people. If you've never heard of her (which I don't believe is possible) she's the host of Chelsea Lately on E! It starts off with a round table wear she and three other comedians talk about current events. And then she interviews a celebrity. Chelsea is my all-time favorite comedian (next to Kathy Griffin). Mostly just because she's a bitch and really sarcastic and she really doesn't really care what people think (to an extent, I understand that all celebrities really do care). If I could go to a taping of Chelsea Lately or one of her comedy shows I might be happy for the rest of my life. I was super excited when I found out about After Lately. It's about what goes on during the day when they're not taping. It's hilarious. She hosted this year's VMAs. And to be honest I really don't care that she did a terrible job and was possibly drunk and/or high. I really don't. I guess I just love her so much because she basically has my sense of humor, except she can pull it off really well. I like people who have that "I just don't give a fuck" attitude.

(Side note: I might possibly be doing BEDA. I haven't decided for sure yet.)

Day 05

A picture of your favorite memory.

Every year the 8th grade U.S. history teacher at our school takes a group of 8th graders to Washington, D.C. the week after school lets out. Anyone can go, it's kind of expensive so they do fundraisers all year long. I went my 8th grade year, and honestly, I loved it. There's about 80 people in my class and about 20 of us went on the trip, a bunch of my close friends included. We got on the charter bus at the middle school and traveled all day and through the night. (Sleeping on a charter bus is NOT fun. At one point I was stretched across two seats. The next thing I know I'm waking up and I'm somehow underneath the seats. I really don't know.) We spend the next three days none stop sight seeing. The White House, all the various memorials, George Washington's plantation, the Smithsonian (only two museums, it would be impossible to see them all), the Holocaust museum (so awe-inspiring, I can't even begin to describe it. If you ever get the chance, go), the Newseum, the Capitol building, Arlington, Congressional Library, and so much more I know I'm leaving out. It's none stop. By the time we got home I was absolutely exhausted.

The main reason this is my favorite memory is because it was kind of my first view into adult life, in a way. There were only two adult chaperones and neither of them were parents. It was also the first trip I had ever taken without my family. When we had finally gotten to the hotel I called my parents. Next thing I know, out of the blue, I'm bawling my eyes out. It totally came out of nowhere. I think I hadn't realized until then just how far I was from my parents. But that was the only part of the trip I had any homesickness. However, it was the first time I had ever cried because I also realized that I wasn't a little kid anymore. I knew that I was starting to grow up and become more adult and mature. (I say more, not completely.) I'll be honest I've cried at other times when something totally catches me off guard and I realize I'm on my own and my parents can't just come in and make everything better. I'll admit that it's scary growing up. At some point in the near-ish future I'll be completely independent and on my own. It's terrifying but also kind of exhilarating.

And I'm getting off topic... I also looove Washington, D.C., probably the most out of any big city I've been to. It astounded me that all those things we've heard about in history class happened here. All the those presidents lived here. It made history more real, not just some story of something that happened a long time ago. Besides all the history it's really pretty there. I love the rush of big cities and something about D.C. just had it for me. I'd really like to see D.C. when all the cherry blossom trees are in bloom. My friend went the December of 2010 and she said it was gorgeous. My family's taking our annual summer vacation there at the beginning of June. I'm so excited. My aunt Patti's going to come to and maybe my aunt Connie, uncle Tom, and cousin Aaron. (To be honest I'm not all that excited to go with the last three. I don't mean to bash them, I love them. But I just don't want to vacation with a bunch of people. Plus Aaron's younger and they'll probably expect Conor and me to babysit. Not happening.) My mom's cousin and her family live around there so we're going to visit them. So around June you can probably expect stories and pictures.

(Not sure what the 30 Day Picture Challenge is?)

Day 04

A picture of a habit you wish you didn't have.

No matter how hard I laugh my eyes always water. To the point that I'm basically crying when I laugh. I don't even know how many times I'm sitting there laughing about something and someone walks up and goes, "Oh my God, Kate! What's wrong?! Why are you crying?!" And then I have to go on and explain how I cry when I laugh. Which makes my friends laugh because they know how much it annoys me. Which makes me laugh because when other people laugh I can't help but laugh to. I laugh pretty easily. It's gotten so bad that I now wear almost all waterproof make up. I don't want my make up to always be running, but waterproof make up is impossible to take off.

(I'm not sure if this is actually a habit? I mean it's not really voluntary. Obviously I'd stop it if I could. But my other habit is picking at my cuticles. I tried to find a picture on Google, but that was a mistake. The pictures were so gross, I couldn't share that one with you guys.)

(In case you hadn't noticed I'd like to point out my pink/red eye. Last spring I got sick and then after that my eye got all blood shot and was constantly irritated. It got to the point where I couldn't wear a contact on that eye. It was so gross. And of course I got made fun of. All the time.)

Well, my friend's texting me about the trig homework so I better go do that (why do I always post when I should be doing my trig homework? Literally, the only times I blog are when I have trig homework to do). Oh, and I have some other things I want to blog about. So that'll happen very soon!