Friday, July 1, 2011

A (Not So) Textual Love Affair

Have you ever gotten this text "hey:)"? I have, on many different occasions. Who am I kidding, more like once. I absolutely despise these kinds of texts. They're very vague. It could mean: Hey, I like you but I'm too scared to actually tell you so I'm just going to send you a smile. Or it could mean: Hey, I'm just trying to show you how special you are, opposed to every other girl I text, by not only texting you, but smiling. However, I choose to interpret it to mean: Hey, I'm not very creative and can't start a conversation; therefore, I'm going to fake it and force you to be the creative one. Admittedly, there are probably hundreds of different interpretations. But any way you do it basically comes down to one thing: laziness. I feel like if someone really does like you they should put the work in to show it. Or if they're a player, they should get some new moves, because eventually it's going to get old.

Who does this in real life?!
You may be one of those people who actually like getting this text. And that's nothing against you. Yeah right. Besides the whole laziness factor, I think my dislike of this text stems from my hatred of emoticons. I just don't like them. Especially the winky face, it makes a simple text suddenly seem so dirty. The only thing I want making me feel dirty is Leonardo DiCaprio. However, if you decide to go with typing out the emoticon [happyface, winkyface, sadface, etc.] I find that entirely acceptable. Mostly because I like irony, partly because you can get creative. [Poopface, crapface, shitface, fu---- You get the point.]

Most of the time I won't bother to grace the texter with a response. I can already tell that the conversation's going to be a riveting one:
  • Him: hey:)
  • Me: Hey!
  • Him: Sup?
  • Me: Oh not much, just planning my revenge on the Sith for taking away the beauty that was Anakin Skywalker. You?
  • Him: oh cool nm playing cod
  • Me: Really, because I heard that video games kill your brain cells.
  • Him: lol sweet i wish some1 wuld make me a sammie ;)
  • Me: angryface
  • Him: lol it wuz a joke lol so wuts new
And then I don't respond because I hate it when someone a) makes that dumb "ooooh you're a girl, you should be in the kitchen making sandwiches and getting me some Natty's!" joke, b) has something else they want to talk about but expects you to just know and start talking about, and c) uses abbreviations when it would be much more simpler just to SPELL THE DAMN WORD OUT. Oh, and I have an extreme hatred for "lol." [But who doesn't nowadays?] I kid you not, I've had pretty much this exact conversation before. With multiple guys. Texting has taken the standard pick up line [Hey girl, are you from Tennessee 'cause you're the only ten I see!] to a whole new level. In fact, I think I prefer a lame pick up line to a "hey:)" text.

Aaaand now that you know my texting pet peeves... I guess this is why I really don't like to text all that much. I know it's a lot to ask for someone to be creative and original while texting, but seriously? It just seems a little ridiculous to be texting different people when you're having the same conversation with every single one. Got any pet peeves about texting? It only seems fair to ask you to rant since I just went on a big ole ranting rampage.

Peace out cub scout!


  1. I despise "lol" but unfortunately everything just sounds so harsh without it and I never shorten down words either - it just looks so juvenile!

  2. I HATE HATE HATE when people don't spell the word out! Seriously, how is spelling "wuz" easier than spelling "was"?! Oh, and why is it easier to spell "wuld" instead of "would"?! Seriously, I tell people not to text me unless they can spell things properly.

  3. ahhhh! finally, someone who understands: I HATE EMOTICONS. can't stand them. i also hate texts in place of conversations. but emoticons, i just can't wrap my mind around them.

  4. I totally get you. Especially with the whole 'abbreviating what doesn't need to be abbreviated'. Pisses me off like few other things do. And mis-spelling words cos it's 'gangsta'. I hate when they spell 'like'... uh, - like 'lyke' (even I have a hard time understanding what I just typed) I mean it's STILL 4 LETTERS, you're not saving yourself any time, you're just killing your own braincells.

    My little cousin started talking to me over facebook and she was busting out all that crap slang and I literally got really angry... I almost yelled (typed in caps lock anyway...) at her to type PROPERLY but I let it go... still stings.

    Another texting peeve is people who take AGES to reply. Whassup with that? Grinds my gears.

  5. Wow. That was just awful. I feel like I've seen that conversation like a million times. UGHDkjfkasjdlvkdklv;sdafiosjdfkldsvk;dviodsjisadjv Frustration.

    i got the "hey:)" text over the summer. grrr. I didn't respond back.