Fast Times at Corn Field High

Sometimes I wonder what compels me to even go to my school anymore. I swear, it's like instead of going to school and getting smarter, people in my class are going to school and getting stupider. Actually, that probably has to do with the amount of pot that a lot of them smoke on a regular basis. I'm serious. The school districts in my county have certain reputations. One's known for slutty girls, one for super-athleticism, and mine is known for the large population of potheads.

In my economics class today the teacher left the classroom to go make copies. The guys sitting around me immediately take the opportunity to start talking about the teacher. Whatever, it happens. I'm 100% sure that the teachers talk about us. But one of them goes, "Duuude did you see his eyes? He's totally high right now." To which another replies, "They're so red! He should be in a better mood than he is, though. I bet him and [insert other teacher's name here] light it up all the time." At this point it's all I can manage to not roll my eyes and laugh out loud. I mean seriously. Did you also notice that he's wearing glasses today, which he doesn't normally do. This probably means that he has a problem with his eyes or contacts. And the other teacher? Yeah, his wife's a police officer. I'm not sure how much "toking" he gets up to.

Just because a large number of people in our school smokes pot does not mean that the teachers do as well. I mean, I guess I could be wrong. There are probably teachers that do get high. But I doubt I'm wrong on this one. God, I've just realized that I sound a bit like a prude. I'm sorry! But I'm bookish and slightly introverted, okay? I'm not sheltered, I have "seen" a part of the world outside of academics and parent-approved activities. But I actually want to do something with my life besides "hang out" and just get by. That said, I honestly can't wait until I can get away from the stoner population that I've been forced to grow up with. Some of them are very nice people, to me at least, but pot does nothing to help the brain cells. And you can definitely tell with the majority of these people.

Just two and a half more months. That's it. I can hold out until then. I think.

You guys....

IT'S MAH BIRFDAY!!!!!!!!!

I am now a legal adult. In the sense that I'm eighteen years old. My mom says that I'm not really an adult until I can support myself. Poop.

But it doesn't matter anyway....

Because...

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I'm also the proud owner of a helicopter now. Birthdays are great.

Where's the laugh track?

Friday night I attended an overnight thingy at the college I'll be attending next fall. Well, it was actually an overnight for next semester's freshmen who are applying for the honors program. The person I was *supposed* to be staying with was rushing a sorority that night and never showed up. I would have been panicked, but I got to hang out with a couple of my brother's friends. When it was time to go back to the dorms for the night the RA found me a room to stay in.

I go in there, meet one of the roommates and another girl staying there, and everything seems good. They're both nice. We're about to watch The Hangover. The roommate mentions that her roommate is a bit crazy and tells how she fell off the top bunk last night. The girl walks in with one of her friends and I know her. I know her. Great. Because I know her and know what she's like. And I don't like her. She chats for a couple minutes, leaves, and comes back with a group of guys who are also there for the overnight.

The start talking about how they skipped one of the "lame" presentations [how could they know if it's lame if they didn't go to it, stupid] to watch the TKEs get initiated. Now, I have nothing against fraternities or sororities. I have friends and family members who I adore greatly that are/have been in one.In fact, I might join one when I go to college. Who knows. But there's always that fraternity and that sorority which is like how they are portrayed in the movies. So they start talking about how "effing awesome" it was. And every time one of them says TKE [pronounced teek] they start chanting, "TEEK TEEK TEEK TEEK TEEK" over and over and over again. At this point I'm thinking, "Is this really my life? Am I in a sit com?" And complain how they can't go to the party.

This whole time the girl that I don't like is flirting with them, tossing her hair around, standing with her butt sticking out -- the usual.One of the boys mentions that they want to be on the football team. She says, "Well I'm on the dance squad so I'll be sitting right behind you, cheering!" *cue hair tossing and waving of the pom poms conveniently placed on the window sill*

This went on for about ten minutes before the RA, who happens to be one of my friends, saved me. In the end, I stayed in a room with two different girls. I felt bad for the other girl, she seemed really nice, but damn. Her roommate is something else. I mean, I felt like I was in Sydney White or something. I didn't want to be a prude or anything, I have been to parties and been around people like that. But I was not going to be subjected to the ridiculousness of the whole situation for the next nine hours.

Disappoint.

You guys. You guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuys. My Packers lost. We came into the play-offs with a 16-1 record, so close to the perfect season. And then in the first game we played in the play-offs we lost to the Giants. It was bad. Soooo bad. The receivers just pooped out. The top rusher was the freakin' quarterback! I feel heartbroken. And lost. I want to cry but I can't. I just. I. Ugh. No words. None of them. No more.

Abrupt subject change.

Thanks for the input about e-readers! Now I'm kind of questioning whether I want a Nook or a Kindle. At first I was like 99.99% about a Nook, but now I'm not sure. I'm going to Target tomorrow and possibly Best Buy so I'm definitely going to shop around some. And probably read up on e-readers online. I would say I'm still leaning more towards the Nook.

And now I think I might go have a good, long cry. le sigh. Until next season, I guess...

Liar, liar pants on fire.

There is one type of person in this world that I absolutely cannot stand: posers/try-hards. You know who I'm talking about. Face it, we all have these people in our lives. The girl who goes around at a party saying to guys, "I love hot wings, working on cars, and country music!" For some reason, she thinks that this will instantly make the guy attracted to her. And maybe, occasionally, it does. But what happens when he finds out that a) you only like your hot wings boneless and in BBQ sauce, b) the one thing you can do to your car is pump gas and change your oil, and c) Taylor Swift is the only country you listen to? By that point, he may not care. Good for you. But to that I say, he is obviously not the type of guy worth keeping if he stays with a girl he met based on a lie simply because he likes dat ass thinks she's pretty. [I realize that this is a country-fied version of a try-hard/poser, but you can probably catch my drift.]

I would just like to know what's wrong with this society. How has it reached the point where girls think it's necessary to go around claiming to be something they're not in order to get a guy? I don't think I'm the crazy one here. I would rather be with a guy who's interested in the things I am. Too much time and energy would be wasted on trying to be someone I'm obviously not. Not only that, but I would imagine that things could get boring fast. If you have to fake common interests with someone, that's pretty sad. I mean, if you're only doing this to get with a guy, not have a relationship, fine, whatever. It's your life. Ruin it how you please. It just seems unfair to whomever you're conning.

And I'm not trying to imply that all guys are dumb enough to fall for this stupid little game. In fact, a lot of them will probably catch on pretty fast. Pretty much two minutes into any conversation based on a "common" interest will fall apart. It will be pretty apparent whether or not she knows what she's talking about. But a lot of these guys will go along with it. I mean, hey, she's good-looking, she kind of knows what you're into, and she's good-looking. Shallow is as shallow does. I guess these people need to find each other. I just find it sad. And boring. I can't imagine getting myself into a conversation about cars. As soon as a guy starts talking cars to me I know this conversation is going nowhere good, and fast.

And that's just one of the many types of try-hards/posers that exist in this world. More specifically, the type that I have to deal with pretty much everyday of my life. If you agree with my rant, then you've most likely been picturing a certain person/type. So feel free to comment letting me know who it is that just rubs you all the wrong ways. All of the ways. If you want to rant, I want to listen!

Breakin' the Law

Last Wednesday. Ho-hum. Ever had one of those days where you look back and say, "If I had done this one little thing my day would have been ten times better." Or perhaps, " If I hadn't done this one thing I could have avoided a catastrophe mistake." Well that's how last Wednesday went for me.

It was a dark and stormy night... Okay, not so much. Actually, it was a normal day. So normal, that I really can't recall much of anything that happened that day. Or maybe this one incident just over-shadows everything else. I suppose I woke up, went to school, came home from school... And got a speeding ticket. Yep, my first ever.

The neighborhood I live in is surrounded by a golf course. Not good. I hate the golfers. For some reason they think they're all hot and stuff and can do whatever pleases them. For the purposes of this post, please refer to the drawing I have beautifully created.

 The horizontal street you see is the street I, and most of my friends in my neighborhood, take to get to and from school. Originally there was supposed to be an underground tunnel that connected both sides of the golf course underneath the street. However, due to poor planning on the park district's part, there was nay money to fund such a fairytale. Then they proposed closing the street altogether so the pretty little golfers could safely cross the street on their fatmobiles golf carts. Big no-no from the city. Instead, they put up a speed limit of 25 mph along about half of the street. The speed limit on the rest of the street is 40 mph, just as it has been for as long as I can remember. [You only have to go 25 mph when the light on the speed limit sign blinks. Which is pretty much all day.] See the street where the cop park ranger car is? Well it's pretty well known for park rangers to sit there and try to catch people speeding. This was actually the first time I've seen one there.

So I was driving along on my way home from jamming to some music. I'll be the first to admit that I don't actually go 25 mph. Usually I slow down to 30-35 mph over the cross walk and then speed back up. I mean, that's what most people do. As I turn into my neighborhood I look into my rear view mirror and see those stupid red and blue lights. At first I have this insane thought, "Okay, maybe I'm not getting pulled over. Maybe he's just trying to get around me." Duh. Of course not, I was just being stupid. He pulls over behind me and gets out of the car. "Miss, you were going so fast you were burning rubber!" Right, because tires burn rubber going 43 mph. Then he tried to tell me I didn't use my turn signal turning into my neighborhood. Which is a lie, I know I used it. [I've been told by many people I overuse my turn signal. But that's only because I hate it when people don't use it.] Mind you it wasn't even a police officer, it was a park ranger. He asks for my license and registration. And what do you know. I had forgotten my license. I think at that point I was ready to cry.

So after he comes back to my window after searching for my license number he says, "I could get you for four violations right now." Then he stopped talking and just looked at me. I think he wanted me to cry. Which I did, but that's not the point. He didn't need to be a jerk about it. Then he goes, "However, I'm only going to give you a ticket for going 43 in a 25." And, of course, he was all smug about it. I know he was being nice, but you could tell he knew he was being nice. Then I drove the 2 minutes I had left to drive to my house.

Now I have to go next Wednesday to the state attorney's office to get court supervision. Basically, if I don't get a ticket in the next six months the speeding ticket will be taken off my record. I have to pay $120 for the ticket and $100 for the court supervision. I'm so mad. Mostly at myself and a little at the park ranger. Plus any time I tell anyone I got a ticket from a park ranger they laugh. The one time I didn't get stuck behind an elderly person actually driving the speed limit there's a park ranger! Ugh.

A (Not So) Textual Love Affair

Have you ever gotten this text "hey:)"? I have, on many different occasions. Who am I kidding, more like once. I absolutely despise these kinds of texts. They're very vague. It could mean: Hey, I like you but I'm too scared to actually tell you so I'm just going to send you a smile. Or it could mean: Hey, I'm just trying to show you how special you are, opposed to every other girl I text, by not only texting you, but smiling. However, I choose to interpret it to mean: Hey, I'm not very creative and can't start a conversation; therefore, I'm going to fake it and force you to be the creative one. Admittedly, there are probably hundreds of different interpretations. But any way you do it basically comes down to one thing: laziness. I feel like if someone really does like you they should put the work in to show it. Or if they're a player, they should get some new moves, because eventually it's going to get old.

Who does this in real life?!

You may be one of those people who actually like getting this text. And that's nothing against you. Yeah right. Besides the whole laziness factor, I think my dislike of this text stems from my hatred of emoticons. I just don't like them. Especially the winky face, it makes a simple text suddenly seem so dirty. The only thing I want making me feel dirty is Leonardo DiCaprio. However, if you decide to go with typing out the emoticon [happyface, winkyface, sadface, etc.] I find that entirely acceptable. Mostly because I like irony, partly because you can get creative. [Poopface, crapface, shitface, fu---- You get the point.]

Most of the time I won't bother to grace the texter with a response. I can already tell that the conversation's going to be a riveting one:

• Him: hey:)
• Me: Hey!
• Him: Sup?
• Me: Oh not much, just planning my revenge on the Sith for taking away the beauty that was Anakin Skywalker. You?
• Him: oh cool nm playing cod
• Me: Really, because I heard that video games kill your brain cells.
• Him: lol sweet i wish some1 wuld make me a sammie ;)
• Me: angryface
• Him: lol it wuz a joke lol so wuts new

And then I don't respond because I hate it when someone a) makes that dumb "ooooh you're a girl, you should be in the kitchen making sandwiches and getting me some Natty's!" joke, b) has something else they want to talk about but expects you to just know and start talking about, and c) uses abbreviations when it would be much more simpler just to SPELL THE DAMN WORD OUT. Oh, and I have an extreme hatred for "lol." [But who doesn't nowadays?] I kid you not, I've had pretty much this exact conversation before. With multiple guys. Texting has taken the standard pick up line [Hey girl, are you from Tennessee 'cause you're the only ten I see!] to a whole new level. In fact, I think I prefer a lame pick up line to a "hey:)" text.

Aaaand now that you know my texting pet peeves... I guess this is why I really don't like to text all that much. I know it's a lot to ask for someone to be creative and original while texting, but seriously? It just seems a little ridiculous to be texting different people when you're having the same conversation with every single one. Got any pet peeves about texting? It only seems fair to ask you to rant since I just went on a big ole ranting rampage.


Peace out cub scout!

I get to act like a 9 year old and get paid for it!

Reasons why I love my baby sitting job:

• 9 year old boys are the easiest in the world. It really doesn't take much to keep them happy.
• It gives me an excuse a reason to watch cartoons and TV shows such as: The Fairly Oddparents, The Suite Life on Deck, and The Suite Life of Zack and Cody.
• I have no other choice than to eat bad foods such as pizza because how can I expect a 9 year old to eat an entire pizza by himself?
• Moneymoneymoney! That's a good enough reason right there.
• I'm expected to do such activities as: go to the zoo, go to the pool, play board games, play video games, watch TV, etc. And get paid for it. Heck, I do those things anyways!
• Free pool membership! Need I say more?
• But, most importantly, Daphne turns the AC on at their house far more often than my own mother does.

Reason why I don't love my baby sitting job:

• Year and half old pit bull puppy decides to go into middle boy's bedroom and rip mattress pad to shreds. But it's not my fault he left the bedroom door open.

Pantuflas!

*This post has nothing to do with pantuflas. And everything to do with prom. We've been reviewing for the Spanish final and I can't get the word out of my head.*

Prompromprom.

Kayla, Me, Jordin, Blake

This basically describes our friendship

Morgan had to go with her boyfriends group [plus this shows how super tall I was]

Prom was actually pretty fun. Of course, some parts weren't so good. He showed up late to my house to pick me up. Which was the first bad thing. Mostly because I hate being late, hate hate hate it. My friends were mad at me, but they're usually the late ones so I didn't really mind it. This alone wouldn't have been that bad, except he didn't get me a corsage. Really, I mean really?! So that was awkward seeing as how I got him a boutonniere. [I told my cousin Josh and he was really mad. I'm basically the youngest cousin so they all feel really protective of me.] When we, finally, got to the fountain it went fine. I kind of feel like it was awkward for him, but I was having fun with my friends and their dates so I really just didn't even care. It's his own fault if he doesn't know how to be social.

We went to Fuji for dinner which is a Japanese steakhouse. They have hibachi grills or you can sit at a table and get sushi. We sat at a table and ate sushi. The plus side is that my friend Blake is a hostess there and all the chefs love her so they gave us a bunch of free food. Score! It might have been a bad time for him. He didn't even make an effort! I don't know if he's just socially awkward or what. Don't be thinking I was being a bitch to him, I really did try. But I didn't want to spend my whole night babysitting so I ended up giving up on it. But it was weird because on the drive to the dance he was really talkative. I just don't get him.

I thought at the dance he would just ditch me, I mean that's why I said I'd go with him. But I'd be having a blast dancing with my friends and suddenly he'd just be there. Helloooo creeper status. I basically just kept blowing him off. I'll admit at first I felt like a bitch, but then I just didn't care. We slow danced and he was doing that thing where they try to very nonchalantly pull you closer to themselves. But I was doing this little shuffle thing backward at the same time so I ended up closer to the couple who was dancing behind me [they were friends of mine, don't think I was being the awkward one]. Other than that the dance was sooo much fun. I'm usually not much of a dancer [because I'm terrible], but when you realize that, hey, so is everyone else you just don't care anymore. [I mean, let's be honest, most white girls from the middle of nowhere can't dance.] I was sweating by the end of the dance.

After the dance is post prom at the sports center. They have blow up obstacle courses, soccer, basketball, volleyball, indoor golfing, rock wall climbing, and at the end of the night a hypnotist. He dropped me off at my house to change with my friend Kayla and her date Jamal. I was gonna try and hitch a ride with them but he came back to pick me up. [On the way there we listened to some weird ass music. Usually I'm not one to judge, but this was freaky. Some guy was moaning about killing someone and a bunch of other stuff I don't care to describe.] I didn't see him pretty much the whole night, post prom's from 11pm to 6am. We did all the stuff in 3 hours so we were really tired about halfway through. It was cool though, because we ended up chilling on the blowup obstacle course and talking. That's when I know I have good friends, all you can be doing is just talking and that's fun. It's enough, there really isn't any effort in it.

I realize this is a really long post, so I'm almost done. After post prom my friends, their dates, and I decided we wanted to get McDonald's breakfast. This puts the final nail in my bitchiness to him, but oh well. As we were walking out I go, "Oh by the way, I'm gonna go get breakfast with them. Bye!" Yeah. Don't even tell me. I already know. But in my defense he hadn't been all that gracious either! Like my friend Morgan said, I probably would have been better off going by myself. [Or my friend Chase. Doh! Why didn't I think of him?!]
I'm happy to say this will probably be the last time you hear me speak of him. And no, I don't mean Voldemort [anybody? anyone?] All in all, a fun, if slightly awkward, prom. Nothing more or less than I expected.

WAH WAH WAH.

WAAANT.

My life since Sunday:

• Got home at 7am from post prom. Sleep until 2 pm. Woke up with a cold.
• Battling this cold with tons of coffee, clementines, and cold meds.
• Still haven't made up on lost sleep from the past 3 weeks. Kate is zombie.
• Army recruiter came to P.E. class and made us do PT exercises. Kate is zombie with sore muscles.
• Every time I sneeze my abs feel like they're trying to give birth.
• Ran the mile today. On the track outside in 50 degree, windy weather during 1st hour.
• Because of the extreme coldness it felt like my thighs were being pricked with needles before I ceased to have any feeling in them at all. [Or that bitch Cassie who's been talking about me has a voodoo doll and decided to torture me as I ran the mile. No resentment there. As my friend J.B. says, she's just mad because she looks like a cheeseburger. Don't ask how it's possible, it just is.]
• After running the mile it felt like I was breathing in thumbtacks while trying to stem the river that was pouring out of my nose [that's gross, but it's the truth.]

So as you can guess I'm a pretty sight right now.

• I'm walking like an idiot right now because on top of having lost a bunch of sleep I'm sore from the PT exercises and running a mile.
• I walk around school with that awkward face one makes when about to sneeze. But of course I don't acutally sneeze that often so I just look like a dumb ass.
• I have bags under my eyes [see first bullet].
• My hair needs to be trimmed. [This has nothing to do with my week, but still.]

Not that I'm complaining or anything! The plus side? No school on Friday because of the band trip to St. Louis. Wooh! And I promise promise promise that I'll post my prom pictures soon. I just haven't gotten around to uploading them to my computer.

Day 11

A picture of something you hate.

I absolutely hate it when people eat with their mouths open. It's so disgusting. And it's not really the whole chewed up food thing [My dad and brother would always chew their food up and show it to me when I was younger, so now I'm immune to it.] I think it's just the noise. Is it really that hard to chew with your mouth closed? I don't want to hear you chowing down on some chips or sandwich or whatever. The sound of someone's lips smacking or their teeth grinding down some food makes me want to puke. One of my friends eats like that, I can hear her crunching the food between her teeth. It's all I can do to keep from tearing my hair out. My brother does it too, even though he's constantly reminded not to. Thankfully, I rarely eat with him, so that's okay.

One of Those Days

Today has been a somewhat trying day for me. It's mostly just been one thing after another. We didn't have school yesterday so today was the first day back. And what do our P.E. teachers decide to do on the first day of the week? Circuits. Yuck. It's basically eight different stations around the gym where you do 50 reps of something like push-ups, burpees, line jumps, etc. with a lap in between. And then a 5 minute run. We did these 3 times. I mean, come on! It's basically a Monday morning! Then in English we have a huge, ginormous, humongous research paper due tomorrow that we've been working on since the beginning of January. And we had a trig test where I missed at least 3 problems (I didn't even do one of them), each worth 7 points. And to top it off my printer ran out of ink when I was trying to print my paper. Whew!

And let me just say that people (cough, cough Jeannine) have not been helpful. In after trig, in band, two of my friends and I were talking about this hard proof on the test when Miss I Know Everything walks up. "Oh, are you talking about the first proof? I thought that one was so easy!" Yeah, I bet you did. Know what else would be easy? Me, kicking your ass. Anyways... But seriously, is she trying to get people to not like her? Because it's working. I honestly just don't get it.

Exactly! (My dad and I joke about this all the time.)

This has inspired me to write my top five least favorite personality traits: 

1. Pompous: There is nothing more I hate most in this world, when talking about people's personalities. It's just so ugly. I don't mind a little bragging. I get it, you're proud of something you did. I do it myself sometimes. But when it's excessive, and I've done the exact same thing. No. This is not all right.
2. Pessimism: I understand what it's like to be depressed. I myself battle this frequently. But not everything in the world is death and rain storms. It does nothing to help other people's moods when you constantly talk about how you're going to fail at something or something bad is going to happen.
3. Dishonesty: How hard is it to be honest? I feel like it's more of a bad habit. I can't stand the feeling of not being able to trust someone. I operate under the belief that if I catch you being dishonest with me once, I'll probably never expect you to be honest. It's just so shady, and makes me wonder what else is a lie.
4. Lazy: I know a handful of people who are very intelligent and comprehend things easily. But they just don't apply themselves! It just blows my mind how someone can be so smart and be capable of getting As and Bs but decides to barely pass or fail. I know part of it is my perfectionism, but why not use the gift God gave you? Why not give yourself a better future?
5. Dependent: I'm aware that it's okay to be dependent. To a degree. I mean, I'm dependent on my parents to support me and stuff like that. But I don't think it's okay to be dependent on someone emotionally. It's not healthy to base your happiness on another person's. It's just so unattractive to see someone who can't live without their boyfriend or girlfriend. Again, I know part of my feeling like this is just the way I am. I'm an extremely independent person. But, please, try to be your own person.

 Sorry for the kind of complain-y posts lately, but that's just the kind of mood I've been in lately. The months of January to mid-March do that to me. Hoping your day's been better than mine!

Devoid of Anything At All

I want to feel nothing. I want to lie down on a bed made of air and float. I want to float like a feather. Drifting back and forth in a nonexistent breeze. I don't want to let my feelings take me over. I don't want to feel anything anymore. I want to live, without regrets, without inhibitions. I don't want my conscience and judgment to win over my need for freedom. I don't want to feel anymore. I want, need, my body to grow numb--unaffected by outside influences.

Maybe, if this happens, I can be alone with only myself. Maybe then I can finally allow myself to do what I need to do in order to stay true to who I am. Emotions only get in the way. Maybe, by letting these feelings go, I can do what I need without a twinge in my gut or any other emotion-fueled reaction.

I want to feel nothing, in order to find myself. In order to learn what I need to do to recover the person I once was and become who I want to be.

Man, I really need to update more often... I wrote this at a time when I was feeling, I guess you'd say lost. I'd go to bed at night and realize that at the end of the day I couldn't think of one thing I did that I was proud of. I found that I had lost what made me, me. Everything part of myself that I loved. I was giving into people because I didn't want to have to explain myself, it was easier just to do what they wanted. And that wasn't right. I can't say that I'm 100% of who I used to be. But I'm almost there, I can feel the real Kate stirring, ready to make her comeback. And then some.