On the bus to bowling I was sitting in a seat with him and I heard his friends talking behind us. First I was like yeah, yeah whatever. But then I heard my name. They were talking about his poem that he wrote about someone with blue eyes. In my mind I was like, oh crap, I have blue eyes. And then they were like wait, Kate has blue eyes. Now this whole time I'm pretending that I can't hear a word they're saying and praying that he doesn't either. Which, who am I kidding? If I could hear them he most likely could, too. It didn't really come as a shock to me. I'd kind of been suspecting it all along. We'd hung out a few times and went to a play and stuff like that, but he's never openly said anything.
And that's basically how the semester ended. Which I'll admit, I probably should have brought it up. But I was kind of scared to. I used to like him, but I don't any more. I couldn't think of any way to bring it up to him without being like, "Oh hey, do you like me? Cool. I used to like you, but I don't anymore. Can we still be friends?" Laaame, and kind of bitchy. Which wouldn't have been surprising coming from me, but I still couldn't do that to him. Now we've been back at school for a month and I'm pretty sure he's avoiding me. Not pretty sure, really sure. We haven't said one word to each other. We only have band together, so it wouldn't be that weird, except for we were so close. I'm currently trying to think of a way to talk to him, but it would probably result in the aforementioned conversation.
And now that I've composed a blog completely about boy troubles...
My New Year's Resolutions! I know they're kind of cliche, but I love setting goals for myself. Can't help it.
- Be more regular in workout schedule. I know the typical resolution is to get fit! and exercise! and eat healthy! But I think it's important to do that anyways. I just get kind of lazy and don't run as often as I should.
- Blog more often. I tend to be in the state of mind, Oh I'll do that later. Tomorrow sounds good. I just got done doing a lot of homework! I really like to blog, I do. I just get lazy and forget how much I like to.
- Stay true to myself. Last year I ended up doing some things I'm not so proud of and compromising my values and beliefs. It's so easy to get caught up in the moment, but then you look back and fell like crap. I tend to blame it on the people I used to hang out with, but I know it all came down to me. I need to be stronger in my convictions and true to myself.
Adios!
Ugh. Boys. Isn't that always how it works? Nothing is ever easy. Don't force the conversation to happen. Just wait. Eventually, you'll have something that you want to talk to him about, and you'll start talking again. I know the drill. One of my best guy friends...I like him, then he likes me, then I like him....Never at the same time. It is a major pain in the butt.
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