Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Antsy. Unsettled. Restless.

Today is an absolutely gorgeous day. It just feels like spring. Spring is my favorite time of the year, I don't know there's just something about it. I think the temperature is the main reason. In central Illinois during the winter it gets freeeezing cold and in the summer it gets extremely hot. Spring is perfectly in between. It could stay in the 70s forever and I would be totally okay with that. Maybe tomorrow I'll wear my new floral shorts from Forever 21...

Despite the beautiful weather I've been feeling sort of... antsy lately. Unsettled. I'm really not even sure why. I'll go to do something and completely forget what I was going to do or why. Or when I'm actually in the middle of doing homework, reading, messing around on the internet suddenly I can't stand it. All I want to do is stand up, scream, and just go. I don't even know where. At other times I have this insane amount of frustration built up in me. I try not to, but if someone comes up to me at the wrong time I just sort of snap. It's not like I'm unhappy and just want to get away. I'm finally in a really good place after several months of depression and hermitism. I'm just restless. I lie awake at night staring at the ceiling. Not even really thinking. I just have this urge to leave.

I'm aware of how nuts I sound right now. Maybe it's spring fever? Which I just Wikipedia-ed (try saying that out loud) and that doesn't sound right at all. "Spring Fever is the name for a temporary mood typically characterized by a state of low energy and weariness experienced by many people in springtime." I'm the opposite. I have too much energy but no where to put it. I want to explore and go on an adventure. Experience things I've never done before. Maybe it's because I'm so close to being done with high school I feel like I should get a move on with my life. I feel like maybe I've outgrown where I am. I want to separate from all that I know and just start new. I'm tired of the same people, same places.

Sigh, I've got Graduation Fever and I still have another year to go. Please, dear Lord, help me.

And now after my crazy little rant, check out this video. It's pretty cool, I must say.
(Has anyone noticed how short my posts have become? That probably means there's a really long one headed this way soon. Just wait.)


  1. Dude, I've got graduation fever like crazy. Two months...Two months...

  2. I can't even comment on how much I relate to nearly everything you said in this post. I have that feeling of wanting to get up and just go all the time now. I really want to do something different and get out of high school. I still have two years left! Ugh, it is frustrating.

    And wow, I don't think i've ever heard Wikipedia be so off. How could that be Spring Fever? That sounds like...Winter Disease. Who loses their energy when the Sun comes out and the temperatures rise?

  3. i agree with celiaann about spring fever! it does sound like winter disease instead!!

    anyway, i totally get what you mean about antsyness. only right now, i just feel like sleeping. i am the most tired, burnt out, and lazy i've ever been. this sucks. and it's not even warm here yet. last year, it was 70 by now. blahhhhhhh i hate winter!!! i want to stab it in it's wintry heart with one of its own icicles!!!!!!

  4. Wikipedia fail. I got to thinking about it later on and I totally agree. I guess that's what happens when anyone can edit an encyclopedia.